Why is it I can think of about 2 million things to blog about until I actually sit down to blog and then can't remember anything...it is a very sad thing.

Here are some pictures from Andrew's first visit to the baby gym. Roo has officially added tree to his vocabulary and Ryan about killed me the other day yelling, "You are insane!" as I told him to go back and take a nap because a five minute eye shutting session didn't qualify as an actual nap. Other than that..things have been pretty basic.

Thank You

I would like to thank the guy at the gas pump this morning that endangered my life. Thank you for not only leaving your engine running while you pumped gas, but you also enjoyed a cigarette with it. Thank you for ignoring all the signs that warn against this and thank you for having a flame near flammable fuels, you are the best!

Freedom

I have to learn to embed youtube onto my blog...it can't be that complicated.

So here is the song that I would post for you to see...just imagine you can see it as you listen & read. When that is done you can go to this song, I often play this one for my parapro from Monkey's blog because it seems my parapro is always stressed to the max.

Anyway, the point.

Today I am giving myself the freedom to do what I want how I want and not worry about other people. This year has been a constant struggle between select parents & myself in how I teach, what I teach, and my expectations for their children. What I expect is for your student to come to my room ready to learn, to become responsible for their learning, to want to grow & work to make it all possible. Last week I actually had a parent question what I just finished teaching in science..this is as close as I can get to a quote: "I was at a friend's school store looking for an agenda and she had a poster displayed. It was her daughter's S.S. project, her daughter is older than J. Her project was what J studied earlier this year, but the stuff that J was required to do was much more detailed than what (the other student) had to do. My son who is very gifted and in middle school is just now studying rocks, soil, & minerals, but he is required to know almost the exact same thing J was required to know. I just question what we are asking of 3rd graders. Are we teaching 3rd grade material?" I took great pleasure in getting out my GEORGIA STATE STANDARDS and the STUDY GUIDE I made and showing this parent just how right on target we are in this 3rd grade classroom. Later she said she was tempted to pull her daughter out of my room to put her in a public school to lighten her workload. WHAT?!?! Seriously? Today, she wrote TWO notes that said the same thing in two different locations about how I should review how to answer questions before asking the students to do the work. Yeah, you know I often make it a habit just to hand out work and say, "Hey, you are on your own, figure it out...and no I will not answer any questions." Craziness!

So today, I am giving myself the freedom to teach and teach like I have always taught, and I will try to inspire and reach my students and challenge them (my goodness what am I thinking with that one) so that they will grow as learners and become independent self sufficient thinking productive citizens of this nation. I think THAT is the real problem, these parents see their children thinking for themselves and wanting to do things for themselves and it scares them shitless to think that their child is capable and is doing things on their own. What a concept! So I will continue to work under pressure to have the freedom to do what I KNOW is right.

Roo's Party

It was a jumping good time...

My "green" alternative to those plastic goody bags. With the help of my mom & Nick's ability to flip fabric inside out we created goody bags with bubbles inside. (or as one guest exclaimed: "These are the cheap bubbles!") I cut them out, my mom sewed the sides, I used stitch witch to close the tops, Nick flipped them, and I put the ribbons on them with the picture, Natalie took the picture, & I think it was worth it, now I hope people will reuse the bags.

Happy Birthday Roobug!

It is hard to believe that one year ago today you were born. Happy Birthday, Roo!Your brother trying to help burp you, he volunteered, I never asked for the help.

You are 10 months old in this picture...you have grown so much!

Love the drool in this picture because it is what you do! You actually can't wear this shirt anymore...today you were grumpy but you are cutting four teeth at once, three of which are molars, I can't imagine how painful that is for you. Despite the slight moodiness you still managed to "get my nose" and tickle me this afternoon, too cute! (I would like to know who taught Roo the "get my nose" trick). You bring me great joy and I love you more than you will ever understand, you'll get an idea when you have your own, but it is a love that words can't express.

I feel a bit stalkerish...

A couple of weeks ago I Googled the rock cycle-I wanted a picture to paste into a document for a test and then I wanted to modify it. I was looking in the images section and you know sometimes when you do this random stuff comes up underneath it, in this case it was a blog...a blog about teaching. I have been checking this blog which led to his graduate school blog and on occasion they are the same. I feel like a stalker because I haven't left a comment but I now have to check this blog everyday to see if there is an update. He not only blogs about teacher stuff but about parenthood too. Here is why, I don't feel so alone now, I am not the only teacher out there pushing, motivating, and expecting more from my kids.

Here are a few comments I thought can relate to everyone...some just for teachers some for everyone.

"I am so far from perfect that I find humor in it, so much so that some criticize me for not taking things more seriously. I smile when I say I don't care what others think of me, I care what others think of themselves.And I care what I think of myself. My life isn't "perfect", but it IS........because in this imperfect life I smile much more than I frown, and most of those I interact with do too, which makes for one fun and exciting day after another."

"I find myself filled with such an excitement for living, laughing and loving that it comes back to me in such an abundance I can't help but give it away to others.Positivity has as much momentum as negativity, where you feel you're overwhelmed, out of control, and just can't help yourself from saying and doing hurtful and destructive things to yourself and others you later wished you hadn't.When you continually focus on the good, the powerful, and the positive.....you can't help but find the laughter and love in nearly every daily experience.....and you find yourself saying and doing loving and constructive things you're glad you did, and you feel so alive because of it!"

"This may not be the perfect acronym, but it's perfect for now:S.M.I.L.E. Right Now...................because Something that really Matters in Life Exists Right Now............In this Very Moment"


"Positive thoughts and feelings are the answer to producing positive results. Our choice of what to think about ourselves and our abilities is absolutely unlimited, and when we're young this happens naturally in a flow of joy, confidence, and inner happiness.Even after falling several times while learning how to walk, those around us remain positive, encouraging and loving....and we feel good and choose positive thoughts....and eventually succeed at walking.........Every Single One of Us.As we get older the world becomes less patient with us, and we become less patient with ourselves. By the time we're adults we feel we have to be perfect right away, the first time we try or soon after.Constant criticism and numerous warnings to "be careful because we could fail" disconnect us from this inner source of joy, confidence and happiness, and we begin forcing ourselves to think and feel positive, often using external sources to achieve this." (he goes on to thank his children)

"With teachers being forced into covering the curriculum and their behinds, there's not much time or energy left for actual teaching. This is why I don't waste time judging other people, even other teachers. I simply don't have the time. Instead I use the time and energy I do have on looking for inspiration and learning what others are doing right. We know that thousands of children each year get lost and thrown away at home and in school. In an effort to correct this well-intentioned policy makers create rules and policies that handcuff the very educators that can change this.And at best, the majority of "successful" students are successful only in memorizing, comprehending, and achieving low-level application of their knowledge, the three lowest levels of thinking.America has a reputation for teaching its students a mile wide of information but only at an inch deep.What about learning through inquiry and discovery, the construction of real knowledge v. memorized information that is soon forgotten after the test?What about developing real problem solvers?Who's smarter than a 5th grader? - A kindergartener who still makes connections between what they learn in school and the application of it to their own lives, not a memorizer of fact after fact.That's what the internet and books are for, to use as resources of knowledge. The human brain is capable of being more than a storage facility. Yet we use only 3-5, maybe 10% of it. What about teaching our children to think for themselves, to evaluate their own work, and unleashing the creative genius inside of them? Evaluation and creativity are the two highest levels of thinking.Creativity doesn't have to mean you're an artist. It means you can take the knowledge you have in one of your 100 trillion neurons and making a connection to another one or two or twenty, constructing new learning and getting smarter in the process.The more this is done, the more learning that is being created. And learning how to make your greatest dreams and true happiness come true has to be the most important creation in your life.So actually your creativity does allow you to be an artist....of your own life!How creative are we being? Are we controlling our thoughts and actions in a way that creates the life we want, or are we looking at what is and giving up control of our future by giving in to the present?I can't tell you the number of times I've felt like Melman from the movie Madagascar trying to light a fire saying, "I can't...I can't...I can't do this!"....and then finally being able to do it because no matter how frustrated or tired I was I never gave up.Each of our neurons has about 20,000 possible connections to other neurons. I don't know offhand how many total that is but it's a lot, yet we rarely teach our children to how to make these connections. (The simplest way to do this is to ask them what THEY think versus telling them what to think or always giving them the answers.)Is it any wonder when we reach adulthood we feel so lost, so incomplete as we try to make sense of our world while desperately holding onto our dreams, perhaps even decreasing their size until they become "more realistic"?Gosh Dangit! NO! (Yes, I said it the other way in my head, with great determination and meaning)Children live what they learn, and we are teaching them how to throw themselves away or settle for less.Treating these individuals all the same, training them to sit, listen, look, learn for 12-16 years in a school factory, no matter how lovingly or well-intentioned, is not preparing them to survive and thrive as adults.Our kids are difficult so we medicate them. Our lives are difficult so we medicate ourselves. Teaching every child is seemingly impossible so we compromise and ask them just to do well on fact-filled tests, pretending real learning and growth is going on.And each time we don't practice having patience we find ourselves having less and less. Each time we stop when the struggle gets harder we get weaker and weaker.It's time to get stronger. It's time to stop throwing ourselves, our children, and our future lives away! Start being realistic, and create what could be by finding real solutions to the real problems in our world.WE have created the current reality of our own homes, schools and careers and WE can recreate them into something ever more desirable.If we don't have what we want, either we don't want it enough, our abilities to create it aren't enough, or both.The solution is to resist taking the easy way out, and withstand giving up when trying to meet the requirements of your current reality, and then do the more that will change this reality. (teaching Brosden how to juggle)In education this means meeting both the dictated curriculum AND the individual needs of the students.Do this with education, and you develop the problems solvers to recreate a world of apathy, abuse and neglect, shaken babies, terrorism, environmental destruction, faltering economies, and more.Don't do this, and it's the same-old same-old.....getting worse and worse.My students know they better not be the same as yesterday. They better be MORE!If they can't solve the morning math problem.... then BOOM! They write that problem in their Attack Journal and add it to that day's class and homework, coming in the NEXT day being able to do it.I require them to do this with every "failure" throughout the day, because they are not failures, and simply must not be allowed to continue to fail!Do they all do it? No...not yet. Is it draining on the teacher to motivate everyone and find the time to do do this extra teaching in a day already scheduled 100% by the curriculum? Yes.So how DO you do it? Wake up the tiger inside of you. Wake up more of your mind and spirit, using your capacity to love as your energy source.Wake up yourself....And watch how it wakes up others...And as your energy pours into them and theirs finally back into you, a great synergy of exponential energy and action creates a storm where those involved are THUNDERSTRUCK!."

I am not sure why I found this blog, but I know that I enjoy reading the positivity and I do know that over the last few posts there hasn't been one thing I've disagreed with, not when it comes to teaching. I know I enjoyed reading about his frustrated feelings and how he reminds himself to smile at something random because I TRY to do those things all day. Today I caught myself hushing my class several times for talking over me, they weren't trying to be rude, they were just excited about what we were doing...I caught myself and gave myself a smack on the hand because THAT is what I want, I want them to be excited, and no one was goofing off, they were just bouncing ideas off one another. However, I don't regret saying, "I know we have all had something die or seen a dead animal, I don't have time to hear all your dead animal stories. Yes, eventually over time they too can and most likely will become fossils." Let the teaching & learning excitement continue-despite the parent that in more than one way today told me I wasn't doing my job and questioned if I was teaching actual 3rd grade material-she thinks I am teaching a higher middle school curriculum-I pulled out the state standards...funny thing, I am teaching what the state has laid out. Isn't that ironic? I AM doing my job... :)

Tonight I Will...

1. Not try to think about reorganizing my room even as I sit in it.
2. Watch "The Dead Poets Society" while grading papers and read this blog one more time before starting my own school work-grading, averaging, & completing report cards.
3. I will remember as I grade papers and read their wonderful writing that only 18 short weeks ago they barely knew how to think to write a story, and now here they are pushing beyond their limits.
4. I will think of a way to teach word choice without a single thesaurus for my students to use.
5. I will not think about how much sleep I am not getting but relish in the fact that tomorrow will come bright and early with two of the most wonderful people in the world to greet me with it.
6. I will not think about the fact there will be no coffee in the morning, but instead will think about a hot cup of tea instead.
7. I will look forward to lunch with my sister tomorrow at noon, we don't get enough one on one time.
8. I will watch "When Harry Met Sally" if there is time, which there will be time, and I will enjoy every second of watching it.
9. I will try not to be distracted by the lull of the Internet. :) -not likely to happen
10. Lastly, I will listen to new Monkey music. SCORE!

Throwing Up

I believe that throwing up has nothing to do with actual sickness, but rather more of a pay back. See it started a long, long time ago when the first person actually got sick from something legit, a real virus. Then a mom spent a day or worse yet a night cleaning up vomit and that is when the cycle started. A mom (or dad or both) will clean and clean and bathe and bathe a child without complaint when they are sick, more specifically when they are throwing up. There is this real feeling, as a parent you are completely helpless, you know that there is no medicine or the right words, or a kiss in the right spot on the forehead, or a squeeze from a hug that will fix them and that is a bad feeling. Tonight, I anticipated this, I had this feeling, my feelings are not usually wrong, and just as I said to myself, I am going to watch t.v. and go to bed, I heard a cough and then I said, "That was it." and sure enough about a minute and thirty seconds later I had a three year old in my room saying, "I throwed up in my bed." at which point I hurried him to the toilet and gave him a towel to wrap up in and sat him down on his stool and said, just aim for the toilet. As luck would have it, I just washed his comforter & sheets tonight and they just finished drying...luck in my favor. :) So we did a warm bath, warm pajamas, a bowl to throw up in, and clean up began. Hopefully the throwing up is over, I just want to fix him and make him all better. I would hold him, but I am not good, not good at all with throw up. Ask Roo, he can tell you that he practically was thrown across the room today when he coughed too hard. Not really, but I did lunge forward quickly with him so he wouldn't get me if he was going to throw up. I am no good in the throw up game, never have been, it doesn't play in my favor in the classroom either. In college, oh college, I could handle it some of the time in college if I was highly intoxicated, something about smelling the alcohol on your own breath that drowns out their nasty smells and in college at that time everything is funny. Oh, I know you are in the middle of puking your guts out right now, but do you know what you did to that guy, that was so funny! I know you are promising you will never drink that much ever again, but we have to do this again! Here, use my hair tie.

Now, is it just in a dog to want to eat vomit? What is their fascination with that? I can almost understand their own, but don't get IN the blankets searching for it like we don't feed you. I will never understand this act, it is foreign to me, and absolutely disgusting!

I guess I will finish my school newsletter instead of going to bed, just in case I am needed. Of course Nick is at work tonight...but that is okay because I was letting him sleep in on Tuesday when I opened the door and said, you have to get up because Roo is throwing up and I need your help. What a way to wake up!

Perhaps us buying deli turkey meat the other day was a good thing...we'll still have turkey tomorrow. :) There is always a bright side.

It all started with this:
I got this text message Monday morning while I was at the doctor with Roo. It said: "Ryan drew this man." I wrote back: "Yeah right" Nick wrote back: "He really did! I just helped with the suggestion of the pupils, but he put them there." I wrote back: "I don't believe you." Then yesterday morning while I was holding the sickly Roo, homeboy broke out not one but three men. I was shocked and amazed.

Yesterday, I almost fell out of the chair with this:We were typing a thank you card for the little boy next door that randomly showed up last week with 6 cupcakes he made for Rhino. I thought it was rather sweet and deserved a thank you card. We prowled the Internet to find a card Rhino liked, he picked out a football one. Then I said you need to sign your name here pointing under the "Thank you". He busted out his name, I helped with the "n", but the rest is all him. I was so happy, I literally almost fell out of my chair when I looked down to see what he did. I was just told last month that he wasn't ready to write and shows no interest in the writing lessons, to which I said, really? He always wants to write at home, he can trace lines but he doesn't write letters yet. I am really surprised to hear you say he isn't ready to write. But looks like the teacher missed this one. Truly exciting and shocking.

Today I was talking to my sister on the phone and Rhino said, "Mom, it is stuck!" so I turned my head just right and said, "I don't think anyone's kid has ever done this before. I will call you back later." I snapped this picture with my camera phone and then texted it to my sister a few other people because it just made me laugh. I popped that vent right out of the floor and told Rhino that was very creative, but he doesn't need to do it again because the crayons can fall through and we won't be able to get them. He said, like the green & brown one? Yeah, like the green & brown one that I can't see...makes me wonder will this be the thing that breaks the $5,000.00 unit we just put in? HA! I hope not!

This week has been fun at home with the kids, even with the sickness, I haven't gotten one thing done really, but it is more about family than getting the other stuff done. This week has been a good reminder that yes, he is almost 37 months, three years old and almost one month...my how time has flown. (Monkey, you know you like that he did this and that he almost has a color scheme going).

Life Here Lately...

Busy & sick. :)

Maggie=catching a urine sample this morning...that was fun, have you ever had to get under dog while she is peeing to catch her urine? This totally freaked her out that A.) I was so close to her while she did her thing and B.) was hard because every time I got close to Maggie she would stop her flow and move to another place. I am SURE the neighbors got a good laugh out of me chasing the dog with the cup and Rhino laughing and chasing after us in his black Spiderman costume with cowboy boots.

Roo=trying to prepare for birthday party-sick with cold possible allergies-throwing up sick as of this morning and wants nothing more than for mommy to hold him, which would be okay if I didn't have two boys that need me-funny because even though he doesn't even want to eat (that is HUGE) he is still absolutely killing me with his ways-cutting two teeth in addition to being sick with a cold/allergies and throw up-doctor's appointment yesterday-good-no shots have to reschedule those-25 lbs. and 30 inches=big kid. Small victory won at the doctor's office, finally got a referral for an allergists, eight months & two doctors later we finally win this battle...for now.

Rhino=wonderfully great but missing school, one day he will actually sleep in on breaks and enjoy his vacation rather than waking up at 5:45. Doctor's appointment=30 lbs. and 36 inches...killing me in his Spiderman costumes now accompanied with cowboy boots.

Nick=still fighting sinus mess, but wonderful, and never wants to miss a night in the hot tub because that is OUR time, even when it is pouring down rain I have to say no and reorganize the closet instead.

LAST WEEKEND-not the one we just had:
The truck died on 85S and the first thing that pops into my head besides pull over quickly, "Stranded at the Drive In" from Greece. Crazy I know. We had a truck full of gifts including our killer deal on a kitchen set for the boys (it has a grill too!), luckily a tow truck was covered to my parents' house thanks to Allstate roadside hazard insurance, $6 part fixed the problem, a dad that couldn't sleep was able to pick us up, both boys weren't with us (one with my mom and dad, the other with Nick's dad), mom got up and placed new toothbrushes on the counter for us and all was well and we had clean teeth.

THIS WEEKEND:
All was well, Sunday I was sick and Nick couldn't come home because the county was short on Medics...life of a firefighter's wife...this is the 2nd time this has happened in the last 6 months, I survived all is well.

Dad dropped off his old truck for us to use until we can buy a new car or afford to fix mine, "Keep it until you don't need it anymore, a week, six months, two years, it doesn't matter." Reminding me that is the one person I don't argue with when he says he is going to do something-he wants to do it, so I don't argue. I am thankful for the extra ride because the Mazda just can't handle much more until we get it fixed plus it is awesome to have heat again. :) Also, a nice reminder that my mom & dad still love to feel that they need to take care of me, I am okay with that, it has taken a while to be okay with it, but I am okay with it now.

Limited time to blog, still have to take a picture of my favorite part of the tree...will do. :) Happy Thanksgiving!

Quote from another blog...

"A man should never be ashamed to own that he has been in the wrong, which is but saying...that he is wiser today than yesterday."

Jonathan Swift

(1667-1745)

For Monkey

Today in the truck we listened to this song because Rhino wanted to listen to the red cd. I said you want to listen to Ozzy Ozbourne? He said yes! So the first song came on and I was singing along and then really for the first time realized what he was actually singing and then I was like Monkey's 36 Rules!

"Crazy, but that's how it goes
Millions of people living as foes
Maybe its not to late
To learn how to love
And forget how to hate
Mental wounds not healing
Life's a bitter shame
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train
I've listened to preachers
I've listened to fools
I've watched all the dropouts
Who make their own rules
One person conditioned to rule and control
The media sells it and you have the role"

Maybe I am not too far off base with some of the things you have said lately including a recent faculty post as well.

This year we broke every tradition in the book, we didn't wait until the day after Thanksgiving, we didn't even wait a week after Thanksgiving, we joined in with the stores-we decorated for Christmas. While I know this might make SBB have a stroke just at the thought of this, I must say we are home too little in December and this year we will actually enjoy our Christmas decorations. I would really like to show you a picture of the my favorite part of the tree, but apparently the camera is dead...again. So, soon I will post pictures soon.

I am so glad this week is over, it has been rough. Really rough, but I have had a lot of depressing posts lately and that isn't my character at all, enough is enough. The best part about this week, well besides today being Friday and a few cute comments throughout the week, Roo's 1st birthday invitations are ordered and should be in soon for mailing, and at the very least they will put a smile on every one's face. I love, love, love the invitation (well the preview I had), I can't wait to mail them out.

Here's to a great weekend!

YES!!!!

If you heard a very loud & excited yell, it was me! It is 1:03 a.m. on Saturday night and ALL my papers are graded and averages are done. We don't have to send out averages but I think it is a nice way to let the parents know where their kid stands before report cards. (Plus less work for me in three weeks). It is late but I am going to go take a bath now.

Well, I am not going to say anything but I will say thank you for all the comments of encouragement...I am celebrating two days of happiness from a certain someone whom just turned three last weekend. I am emotionally coaching like crazy and I hope it is working.

We are looking for someone to watch Rhino on the days Nick works so that we can pull from him from school. Besides the massive amount of teacher changing, we think it will help his behavior. He won't be so tired and he will get plenty of daddy time, which he loves and craves. It will be a good move for us financially too because it will save us a good amount of money each month. Hopefully, this will all work out, I know it will.

The Past Few Days...

The past few days have been a roller coaster of ups and downs. Sunday, Rhino was in full swing, his crazy kid ways-nothing will please me-I want to yell & scream-I want to hit, kick, bit, & a new one punch you in the face. It took me FOREVER to get to Wal-Mart because of the wonderful mood. I woke up Monday with high hopes that it was over and all out of the system...not so much. Monday I endured a beating on the head, arms, massive amounts of kicking, attempted biting, then clawing that drew a little bit of blood and I am still wearing those marks and then to top it off an abusive push on the brother. THANKS KID! When he clawed my face, I lost it, I just started crying. I couldn't pull it together to go to work, I tried, I talked to Nat on the way to school and decided once I got there that I just needed to take a day. I left some hand written plans and was out of there-I came home and put Roo down for a nap and started to clean. Nick came home at 9:30 asked very few questions and waited on me to volunteer information. I cried most of the morning even while I cleaned, Nick knew I was working something out when the curtains came down and the broom went across the ceiling and up & down the walls. When I get super stressed I deep clean, sounds weird I know, but it is the one thing I can control, I can control how clean it gets how straight it is how long I do it and when I am done I can look around and see a clean house...it is a good feeling. Roo slept for FOUR hours so I was able to cry while I cleaned and get it out of my system. Tuesday, more of the same but I only had to endure him for a few hours in the evening. This morning...yeah, well I was 15 minutes late to work which doesn't sound like a lot but really I was like 45 minutes late. We don't HAVE to be there until 7:30 but I am usually there no later than 7:05, 7:10 is running late. Tonight more of the same but worse since he hit me in the head with his shoes and then beat the crap out of my left arm, slapped me in the face, attempted many more hits, attempted to bite me, tried to claw his brother's legs, screamed and cried for about 3 hours...no lie, 3 hours. I don't wish this on anyone, it is tiring and trying...tonight while I was trying to rock Roo to sleep I went on the front porch so Rhino could scream & cry all he wanted and I could still rock Roo to sleep. Then after about 5 minutes of silence Rhino comes walking around the house and starts yelling he wants a hug. See isn't that nice? Not really, not when you think about he was screaming this, he left the house with no adult, he did take the time to put on his shoes, thankful our driveway is not right next to the road, but instead of escaping I just opened it up to the neighbors to hear. :( It is bad enough that I had to stand in Nick's sister-in-law's driveway for 20 minutes while he screamed & cried, hit, punched, bit, etc. while one of her neighbors looked on. To keep from receiving any of this I would place him gently on the ground or push him away (NOT down) from me and he would yell, "Momma quit pushing me!!" I am sure DFACS will be visiting soon.) Today we got a call from Rhino's teacher that she will no longer be teaching him and he was a pleasure to teach and she loved him. I cried. I did. This caught me so off guard and seriously, leaving out any work issues, I have enough stuff going on. So I was like okay, why? She said the school said it was because of budget cuts. That sucks! She is a great teacher, what sucks even more? We didn't know...we didn't know she wasn't there today, and here it is 12:24 a.m. and we still don't officially know. She thought the parents were notified-we weren't. So I am really pissed because of reasons already stated but for some very big ones too. Monday night I went to a meeting involving myself, the assistant director, & the PTO president, the assistant director never mentioned his teacher leaving. Tuesday Nick did a fire safety class and no one mentioned it to him either. Then the thought comes to my head, who is teaching his class? If you take out the teacher that leaves ONE teacher's aid for 20+ kids ages 3-6. Anyone? Anyone? Does anyone know how illegal this is? I am pissed for those reasons and for the fact that since August this is the 2nd time this has happened his lead teacher was dismissed and we were notified later. (Well in his most recent teacher's case we haven't been notified) His afternoon teacher's aide was let go without notice, just a little snippet in a random newsletter. I did e-mail the school when this happened and asked if it was typical of them to have so many staff changes in a school year. (At that point we are talking two in a month...these are kids!) So I wonder what kind of education is my kid getting? Where is the love for the children at the school? Why is his "loving" environment so nutty and unstable? I am dealing with a highly emotional child and this just makes it worse. So after talking to Nick, who is at work tonight, it was decided to pull him from the school. We just paid tuition yesterday...good timing. I sent out an e-mail asking if anyone knew anyone interested in a little part time work & money. I plan on checking out some daycares in the meantime. This week has been the most insane week of my life, keep in mind I am leaving out work stuff too, because it has been one crazy week there too. So I am doing my best to keep my spirits high and I know, I KNOW that I am not in control of what happens, I know that when I gave up control the other night that things would happen...but for the better. I have been praying and praying about next year. Rhino's tuition is so expensive it eats my extra money up...perhaps a plan is unfolding. We will see, in the mean time if you know me and see me and I look haggard well just smile at me and we will just keep going. :) This all will work out and it all will turn out good and I will learn so much from everything.

Halloween

We went to Hallelujah Night at church and it was a lot of fun! We were pretty impressed last year, but this year was better in my opinion. It is amazing to me to see the amount of people that come out for this event! Rhino was Spiderman (I know you all are shocked and falling over dead) and Roo well naturally he was a kangaroo and probably my favorite costume! Well worth the $2.99 and $7.99 in shipping!

Birthday Walk

At the school they ask for a birthday walk timeline, a picture to represent each year. This sounds so simple, but was tough for me. We have a TON of pictures of Rhino to choose just 3? Too hard. I was thinking of a birth, six months, one year, two year, birth of brother, then three year. That was too many. Then I thought of themes: all summer, all cake at each birthday-would've been PERFECT except my camera died as we were blowing out the candles yesterday and he didn't feel good so there was no eating of the cake...sad. So I thought and thought and then I came up with the pumpkin theme. Every year we go to the pumpkin patch so I ordered the pictures on Wal-Mart.com and made the 3rd trip to Wal-Mart since Thursday. I realized when I got home an error, I chose pictures with Rhino under the tent with the precut pumpkins for year 2 & 3 and his 1st year is in the field. This is when I said, it is just for school! :) So here are pictures of my very last minute meant to start this last month so it would be the best one they have ever seen oh well it isn't perfect birthday walk timeline. (one with a glare and the other with crappy lighting-oh well!)

Too much...too much

I'm still in that too much to do mode. :)

I did manage to take Rhino shopping for his teacher's birthday gift...being a teacher myself I had to steer him away from the candles, dish towels, & anything with flowers on it. We ended up buying flowers & and gift card. I figure you can buy what you want, personal or for work. Ryan loves to give flowers, he has a thing for flowers, so I let him buy them for his teachers/care givers whenever he thinks about it, he likes to pick them out and then give the flowers, it makes him happy & makes them feel special, everyone wins. :)

He picked out the yellow flowers over the roses, he picked out the cylinder vase-he can tell you that-and he picked out the free card to go with it. I walked away and he flipped! I missed the part where I was also supposed to grab the white flowers. I said you want white flowers instead? No, I want TWO flowers (2 fingers held up as well). Two flowers or two colors? Mom! TWO bags of flowers, yellow & white! So I pushed that cart over to the white flowers and picked out the ones that looked the least dead and paid my $2.50 for gonna die soon white flowers, but it is his gift. Long story short, Rhino picked the flowers, vase, ribbon, & gift card...so it is a little mismatched. Here are some pictures: I cut down the middle flowers because after looking at them while washing dishes I decided they were just too tall, so it looks a little different.

Do You Ever?

Do you ever have those days where you look at your day & night and realize there is just way too much to do and it is virtually impossible to get it all done? I am having one of those days today. Here it is 8:07 and I still have to do lesson plans...I haven't done them in 2 weeks! So I have to do last week so I can do this week. NICE! My own fault, so I can't complain.

Do you ever want to just really tell someone how you feel? I want to tonight, but won't I will be nice and refrain. Tonight I got a phone call (answering machine) and it went something like this: I would like for you to call me tonight, as soon as you get in, it is about the note you sent home about B's failing math grade, I am not sure why she is failing, she does fine here at the house, what is going on, can you tell me why she is failing, can you tell me why she does fine here at the house and is failing math, can you call me right when you get in, can you please explain to me the difference between home and school, she did great last year, she made good grades all year.

This same parent wrote me a note today for the second time asking if I could let her daughter check out books for her science project I assigned last week. They don't have Internet so it would be nice if I could allow her to use resources from school and the book she is using to do this at school. I wrote back AGAIN that there is NO science project, what I sent home last week says STUDY GUIDE at the top and explains that it will take several weeks to cover all the information and as it stated on the study guide (and the note I sent last week) I will announce the test date later and send home a more detailed study guide. Then I told my para pro to make a copy of the note I wrote LAST WEEK responding to the SAME question and then highlight where I answered this question already and then staple it all together including today's response in her daily spiral notebook. So when I got home and got the message above here is what I wanted to say, "I can't tell you why your daughter knows something at home and doesn't know it at school, seems kind of odd to me. Also, your daughter had warning signs of this on the first report card which we discussed at conferences and you agreed that some extra attention would be beneficial. Please understand that I can't call you at a moment's notice, I have a life outside of teaching, I am a mom and wife on top of being a teacher so if you could just be so considerate to give me a day to call you back that would be great, because actually I have a lot going on tonight and none of it involves having a round and round circle talk where I say things you repeat them and then ask me the same freaking question again." Why do I want to say all of that? Because I have gotten several notes from this mom asking the same questions over and over in the same note and then get another within the next few days asking the same question again. She also called me FOUR times on a Saturday within 4 hours and then called two weeks ago 3 times in one night and all three times Nick explained I was AT SCHOOL for a meeting (she lives maybe a half mile away from the school-why didn't she come on down?). That's mean isn't it? But I feel better! :) Oh to blog about it!

I have given out my home phone number for the last 6 years and on occasion will get a phone call, but after this year I will NEVER do this again. Lesson learned. Now it is 8:18 and I need to go be productive so my teaching can be questioned once again...I am starting to think that maybe I shouldn't teach anymore, perhaps I am not good at it.

A Rockin' Friendship

Nat had a pile of rocks in her driveway and the boys had a blast! Nat & I were really surprised that Roo didn't put a rock in his mouth...until I picked him up and noticed he had more than a pacifier in his mouth.One day he will make a good big brother
See how much fun they are having? They can't stay in one spot!

Last weekend...

Here are some pictures from last weekend's trip to the "pumpkin patch" more like farm:

Hanging out waiting on Rhino to get out of the corn

This is what Roo did while I was trying to get his picture...

Rhino pumping water to move the ducks
Our piggie son had to have a pig's nose after watching the pig races
Unedited & uncut, I like this picture

Oh the Irony!

I don't think I need to say much the picture says it all...I am supposed to say Nick is totally against this act. (This was taken last weekend and he requested it again this weekend and I let him, so I can only imagine what the parents thought at the birthday party today).

How Could I Forget?

Today I called a friend that I work with on the phone our conversation went like this:

Me: "Hey, does A need his medicine? Do you want me to run it up to the nursery?"

Her: "No, I just gave it to him, but it does need to go in the fridge, can you put it in the fridge?"

Me: "Sure."

Her: "Man, I really need a cock this morning."

Me:"What? Oh that was funny! You have a guy in your room!"

Her: "He actually just walked by, oh my! I meant Coke or coffee!"

People are turning red at this point and I am laughing so hard I can barely speak-we work in a Christian school!

So about two minutes later T walks into the teacher workroom...

T: "Where is the medicine?"
Me: "I put it in the fridge."
T: "She wanted me to come and get it for her."
Me: "You should take her a cup of coffee, you know she puts cream & sugar in it, but I am not sure how much of each."
T: "She has a cock down there. I mean Coke, she has a Coke!"
Me: "What? Oh my what do you all have going on down there?"

T turning five shades of red left quickly leaving me on a laughing fit again, needless to say when I made it back upstairs I was in one good mood!

Dismissed...

It is crazy, we took a few months to set up an appointment for Rhino, set one up, it fell through...then I had enough and set up another appointment on the verge of tears from frustration & exhaustion. In September we took Rhino to a child therapist to help with his outrageous temper tantrums that stress everyone out, including Roo. There is nothing worse than the feeling of holding your baby and feeling his whole body tense up because he is scared, feeling him tremble in your arms and not move because he is terrified to do anything, to watch him catch the hits and pushes, there is nothing worse besides the feeling that you have lost all control. This is the side of parenting no one tells you about, that one day your sweet, thoughtful, loving, and handsome child will turn, he will turn into something that you don't know what to call it or how to deal with it. Rhino is one like none other, he is sweet & thoughtful on most days, he is strong willed, articulate, observant, mathematically inclined, interested in nature, how things work & why they work, he shows interest in the smallest things that to him are the biggest things. We have started saying he is a great kid 98% of the time, but the other 2% are pure hell.

So here it is...I'll share.
Rhino can go into these crazy rages, they are rages, they can last up to an hour a twenty minute one is like a blessing. After a twenty minute rage we are like whew, that one wasn't that bad. We have been hit, bit, slapped, kicked, spat upon, dodged flying objects, heard crazy threats including he wants to kill us, watched him not only abuse us but launch attacks on his his brother (now let me make this very clear, when attacks are taken upon his brother we immediately jump in, we make him finish his tantrum in his room, and after there is an apology and hug, it is hard not to beat the crap out of him when he does this, but we refrain). You as a parent feel the like you are in the oddest position, you are the parent, you are to have control at all times, you are the one that sets the standards and rules and sees them through, your two year old isn't supposed to act like this, no way! I have stood outside stores waiting on a tantrum to stop, people look & stare but I always think believe me you want the world's loudest screamer outside not inside, I wonder what they are thinking as he thrashes around all over the ground (many times in a Spiderman costume) screaming and yelling as I stand about five feet away distracting Roo as much as possible. I don't fear anyone taking him during this time, you would have to be out of your mind to want to kidnap a kid acting crazy like that, plus I can see him the whole time and I am no small girl, I can take you down with a baby on my hip. :) When you go through this day after day you get tired, really tired, because you are not only dealing with your life stress but then you have this added stress which is enough all on its own but then you feel this incredible guilt, what did I do wrong, what happened, why does he do this, what is going to happen to Roo, will Roo act like this, is this screwing him up, is this screwing both of them up, do other people go through this and they don't say anything, why, why, why, why, what lesson am I supposed to learn, what the hell? I felt this guilt for a long time, because I love both of my kids, my God I love those kids, but I often regretted bringing Roo into this mess (it wasn't like this when we got pregnant but started soon after and just got worse as time went on), I hated when people said oh it is just because of the baby, no my friends he was like this before hand it has just gotten worse, perhaps we were blind to it a little bit because the world was all about him before Roo, I also hate that Roo is enduring this emotional stress that I felt like was all my fault. See all of that thought, that is exhausting. When the tantrums were lasting well beyond twenty minutes every time and he started urinating on himself, I told Nick no way is this normal. So back in September we made an appointment with a child therapist (the day after I got back from Jamaica was our first appointment) and we all went and piled into her office-all four of us. The waiting room had a two way mirror in it which I was hoping they were looking through to watch us interact to see what all would happen how we handle things as parents to see if it is us as parents or if it is all him. Rhino went in and went NUTS, he was insistent on messing with some plant in the waiting room, he went into a full out rage including screaming, hitting, running, & pooping on himself for the first time during a tantrum/rage/whatever you want to call it. Of course they weren't looking through the two way mirror but she did ask if it was us? We laughed our nervous laughs and said yes, that was us and that is why we are here. We had an hour session and when we left we were quiet because we were so confused, but felt better all at the same time. Our biggest fear & question was how and why do we want to empower our child? He is confident, the therapist noticed that, he is bright she noticed that, she said we were doing the right things, so what do we do now? He is two there is no way we are giving up the power at two, what will life be like when he is 18? We did leave with a book title which I ordered the same day. We've read the book and found out what she meant by empower, empower him emotionally, we put forth the suggestions & the suggestions from the book and we are getting our kid back. It is the nicest feeling, I will be honest and say that sometimes I just want to say, "Stop crying & whining, get over it, do it, just do it!" but instead I feel incredibly silly and fake sometimes when I say, "I see you are kicking your feet and screaming, you must be upset about something, can you stop screaming & kicking your feet and tell mommy what is wrong?" and sometimes, "It upsets mommy when you __________ because it makes me feel ________ when you _______, so can you use your words and tell mommy how you feel instead of________?" At other times it feels so natural and I am glad that we all are communicating with our emotional words instead of frustration. It has taken a lot of work on our parts, not that this is much different from our parenting before, but this makes him feel emotionally empowered. We are coaching him to be more emotionally in tune for a lack of better terms. Nick took him to his therapy appointment on Wednesday and she dismissed Rhino. At first I was a little freaked when Nick told me this, I was like are you sure, are you sure? But with the improvements he reported & we have seen she said there is no reason to come back, we just have to keep emotionally empowering him and ourselves. Hopefully this is the end of crazy tantrums, we've had 2 bad ones in the last month which is a HUGE improvement! Today, he was in his room trying to put on his p.j. bottoms but they kept getting tangled and I heard him strat to whine & whipmer, I thought here we go, he came out with them in his hands and said, "I need help, I can't do it!" I untangled the mess and gave them back to him he stomped his foot one time and said, "I can't do it!" I said, "I know you are feeling frustrated but I untangled the pants, why don't you sit down and try to put them on again." He did and he got them on he was happy, and I was too, I said you did a good job not yelling & screaming, I am so proud of you for trying again instead of screaming. There is my "novel" and a little bit of insight on my world lately. Did you make it all the way down? Good for you!

Now, I need to figure out what I am going to do about next year...I am just praying right now because that is the best thing I know to do.

Pictures coming soon: Spiderman with blue fingernails-Nick was horrified, but I said he is two who cares! Pumpkin patch pictures again, from a different pumpkin patch Spiderman joined us blue fingernails and all. (The request for his toes to be blue came in the other day...I said he had to wait until Saturday, guess you know what I will be doing). We are helping out with the Harvest Party at Rhino's school tomorrow and I will snap some pictures there too!

Pumpkin Patch

For monkey & SBB

Yes, I can still hang with the big kids! Yes, after hanging with the big kids, one must rest, one thing I have learned since college, when objects start moving and you aren't, you are DONE. So I got out of the pool came back to the room and took a shower put on a t-shirt and slept for the next 12 hours. I woke up at 2:30 WIDE AWAKE, but managed to go back asleep and slept and slept and slept, I have two kids, I never get to sleep like that! Here is my point, I was proud of my "I can still hang" moment, but in honor of SBB & monkey's comments I had to post that yes, I did eventually call the quits and monkey here is one of the pictures. I will spare you the two with one of my old roommates humping my head and then laying on top of me. Which I was well aware was all happening, but couldn't manage to say get off of me!!

No trash can or toilet visits either-SCORE! (Oh, you wanted to know that!)

Next posting: Pumpkin Patch pictures!! I L-O-V-E the pumpkin patch!

The Fair

We go to the Perry Fair every year, well since we started dating. The first year we were married my mom & dad went with us, then they came along the next year, now it is a tradition. This year two of my nieces came along with my parents, we learned not to mess with tradition. There were too many kids to keep up with, we also learned to go later so that Rhino can get a nap before enduring all that fun. Overall, we had a good time, Rhino rode his first fair rides, & Roo enjoyed riding in the wagon and having so many people to look at while he rode.

The first thing Rhino spotted-he had to have it! He didn't get it...

Dad hoisted Roo up to ride his shoulders after we ate, I had to take a picture of our future plumber:

I think the neatest part of the fair is all the animals, I like the poultry house where you can watch the chicks hatch! Since I never lived on a farm, last year was the first year I was able to see a chick hatching. Roo really liked the chick!You know you are tired and had a great time when you fall asleep sitting up and your face is covered with dirt along with your shirt.

Jamaica Mon!

It has been a while...but I say better late than never. :) Why did we go to Jamaica? We were celebrating 10 years of meeting in college-what better reason really? It was a good time, it was nice to not have any responsibilities for a few days.

These are all from my friend's pictures...I had to pick and choose because there are some GREAT pictures to show. I haven't uploaded my pictures just yet...I didn't take a ton. This place was pretty! It was all inclusive so there were no money worries while we were there either!

This was the sunset the first night.

One of the pools

The pool with the bar...do you see the deck on the top part of the picture? That is another bar! There is also one on the beach-but I don't think there is a picture of that one.This is the "bar" in your room...we didn't use it. They also stock your fridge with juice, water, beer, seltzer water, ginger ale, & Cokes.

This was at lunch one day, these guys said hey let's have a chugging contest. They went to get the beer and Amanda smoked them, she is the one in the purple shirt.Why this picture is important-we spent a good part of the day on Saturday reliving college including outplaying 4 guys and meeting a bunch of new people. Quarters was taught & played, Beer Pong was taught and played, and there was a bunch of card games including Kings in the pool along with other fun card games. This picture is MoM making ANOTHER beer run for the fun & games.How many times does this happen?