The Past Few Days...

The past few days have been a roller coaster of ups and downs. Sunday, Rhino was in full swing, his crazy kid ways-nothing will please me-I want to yell & scream-I want to hit, kick, bit, & a new one punch you in the face. It took me FOREVER to get to Wal-Mart because of the wonderful mood. I woke up Monday with high hopes that it was over and all out of the system...not so much. Monday I endured a beating on the head, arms, massive amounts of kicking, attempted biting, then clawing that drew a little bit of blood and I am still wearing those marks and then to top it off an abusive push on the brother. THANKS KID! When he clawed my face, I lost it, I just started crying. I couldn't pull it together to go to work, I tried, I talked to Nat on the way to school and decided once I got there that I just needed to take a day. I left some hand written plans and was out of there-I came home and put Roo down for a nap and started to clean. Nick came home at 9:30 asked very few questions and waited on me to volunteer information. I cried most of the morning even while I cleaned, Nick knew I was working something out when the curtains came down and the broom went across the ceiling and up & down the walls. When I get super stressed I deep clean, sounds weird I know, but it is the one thing I can control, I can control how clean it gets how straight it is how long I do it and when I am done I can look around and see a clean house...it is a good feeling. Roo slept for FOUR hours so I was able to cry while I cleaned and get it out of my system. Tuesday, more of the same but I only had to endure him for a few hours in the evening. This morning...yeah, well I was 15 minutes late to work which doesn't sound like a lot but really I was like 45 minutes late. We don't HAVE to be there until 7:30 but I am usually there no later than 7:05, 7:10 is running late. Tonight more of the same but worse since he hit me in the head with his shoes and then beat the crap out of my left arm, slapped me in the face, attempted many more hits, attempted to bite me, tried to claw his brother's legs, screamed and cried for about 3 hours...no lie, 3 hours. I don't wish this on anyone, it is tiring and trying...tonight while I was trying to rock Roo to sleep I went on the front porch so Rhino could scream & cry all he wanted and I could still rock Roo to sleep. Then after about 5 minutes of silence Rhino comes walking around the house and starts yelling he wants a hug. See isn't that nice? Not really, not when you think about he was screaming this, he left the house with no adult, he did take the time to put on his shoes, thankful our driveway is not right next to the road, but instead of escaping I just opened it up to the neighbors to hear. :( It is bad enough that I had to stand in Nick's sister-in-law's driveway for 20 minutes while he screamed & cried, hit, punched, bit, etc. while one of her neighbors looked on. To keep from receiving any of this I would place him gently on the ground or push him away (NOT down) from me and he would yell, "Momma quit pushing me!!" I am sure DFACS will be visiting soon.) Today we got a call from Rhino's teacher that she will no longer be teaching him and he was a pleasure to teach and she loved him. I cried. I did. This caught me so off guard and seriously, leaving out any work issues, I have enough stuff going on. So I was like okay, why? She said the school said it was because of budget cuts. That sucks! She is a great teacher, what sucks even more? We didn't know...we didn't know she wasn't there today, and here it is 12:24 a.m. and we still don't officially know. She thought the parents were notified-we weren't. So I am really pissed because of reasons already stated but for some very big ones too. Monday night I went to a meeting involving myself, the assistant director, & the PTO president, the assistant director never mentioned his teacher leaving. Tuesday Nick did a fire safety class and no one mentioned it to him either. Then the thought comes to my head, who is teaching his class? If you take out the teacher that leaves ONE teacher's aid for 20+ kids ages 3-6. Anyone? Anyone? Does anyone know how illegal this is? I am pissed for those reasons and for the fact that since August this is the 2nd time this has happened his lead teacher was dismissed and we were notified later. (Well in his most recent teacher's case we haven't been notified) His afternoon teacher's aide was let go without notice, just a little snippet in a random newsletter. I did e-mail the school when this happened and asked if it was typical of them to have so many staff changes in a school year. (At that point we are talking two in a month...these are kids!) So I wonder what kind of education is my kid getting? Where is the love for the children at the school? Why is his "loving" environment so nutty and unstable? I am dealing with a highly emotional child and this just makes it worse. So after talking to Nick, who is at work tonight, it was decided to pull him from the school. We just paid tuition yesterday...good timing. I sent out an e-mail asking if anyone knew anyone interested in a little part time work & money. I plan on checking out some daycares in the meantime. This week has been the most insane week of my life, keep in mind I am leaving out work stuff too, because it has been one crazy week there too. So I am doing my best to keep my spirits high and I know, I KNOW that I am not in control of what happens, I know that when I gave up control the other night that things would happen...but for the better. I have been praying and praying about next year. Rhino's tuition is so expensive it eats my extra money up...perhaps a plan is unfolding. We will see, in the mean time if you know me and see me and I look haggard well just smile at me and we will just keep going. :) This all will work out and it all will turn out good and I will learn so much from everything.