It is crazy, we took a few months to set up an appointment for Rhino, set one up, it fell through...then I had enough and set up another appointment on the verge of tears from frustration & exhaustion. In September we took Rhino to a child therapist to help with his outrageous temper tantrums that stress everyone out, including Roo. There is nothing worse than the feeling of holding your baby and feeling his whole body tense up because he is scared, feeling him tremble in your arms and not move because he is terrified to do anything, to watch him catch the hits and pushes, there is nothing worse besides the feeling that you have lost all control. This is the side of parenting no one tells you about, that one day your sweet, thoughtful, loving, and handsome child will turn, he will turn into something that you don't know what to call it or how to deal with it. Rhino is one like none other, he is sweet & thoughtful on most days, he is strong willed, articulate, observant, mathematically inclined, interested in nature, how things work & why they work, he shows interest in the smallest things that to him are the biggest things. We have started saying he is a great kid 98% of the time, but the other 2% are pure hell.
So here it is...I'll share.
Rhino can go into these crazy rages, they are rages, they can last up to an hour a twenty minute one is like a blessing. After a twenty minute rage we are like whew, that one wasn't that bad. We have been hit, bit, slapped, kicked, spat upon, dodged flying objects, heard crazy threats including he wants to kill us, watched him not only abuse us but launch attacks on his his brother (now let me make this very clear, when attacks are taken upon his brother we immediately jump in, we make him finish his tantrum in his room, and after there is an apology and hug, it is hard not to beat the crap out of him when he does this, but we refrain). You as a parent feel the like you are in the oddest position, you are the parent, you are to have control at all times, you are the one that sets the standards and rules and sees them through, your two year old isn't supposed to act like this, no way! I have stood outside stores waiting on a tantrum to stop, people look & stare but I always think believe me you want the world's loudest screamer outside not inside, I wonder what they are thinking as he thrashes around all over the ground (many times in a Spiderman costume) screaming and yelling as I stand about five feet away distracting Roo as much as possible. I don't fear anyone taking him during this time, you would have to be out of your mind to want to kidnap a kid acting crazy like that, plus I can see him the whole time and I am no small girl, I can take you down with a baby on my hip. :) When you go through this day after day you get tired, really tired, because you are not only dealing with your life stress but then you have this added stress which is enough all on its own but then you feel this incredible guilt, what did I do wrong, what happened, why does he do this, what is going to happen to Roo, will Roo act like this, is this screwing him up, is this screwing both of them up, do other people go through this and they don't say anything, why, why, why, why, what lesson am I supposed to learn, what the hell? I felt this guilt for a long time, because I love both of my kids, my God I love those kids, but I often regretted bringing Roo into this mess (it wasn't like this when we got pregnant but started soon after and just got worse as time went on), I hated when people said oh it is just because of the baby, no my friends he was like this before hand it has just gotten worse, perhaps we were blind to it a little bit because the world was all about him before Roo, I also hate that Roo is enduring this emotional stress that I felt like was all my fault. See all of that thought, that is exhausting. When the tantrums were lasting well beyond twenty minutes every time and he started urinating on himself, I told Nick no way is this normal. So back in September we made an appointment with a child therapist (the day after I got back from Jamaica was our first appointment) and we all went and piled into her office-all four of us. The waiting room had a two way mirror in it which I was hoping they were looking through to watch us interact to see what all would happen how we handle things as parents to see if it is us as parents or if it is all him. Rhino went in and went NUTS, he was insistent on messing with some plant in the waiting room, he went into a full out rage including screaming, hitting, running, & pooping on himself for the first time during a tantrum/rage/whatever you want to call it. Of course they weren't looking through the two way mirror but she did ask if it was us? We laughed our nervous laughs and said yes, that was us and that is why we are here. We had an hour session and when we left we were quiet because we were so confused, but felt better all at the same time. Our biggest fear & question was how and why do we want to empower our child? He is confident, the therapist noticed that, he is bright she noticed that, she said we were doing the right things, so what do we do now? He is two there is no way we are giving up the power at two, what will life be like when he is 18? We did leave with a book title which I ordered the same day. We've read the book and found out what she meant by empower, empower him emotionally, we put forth the suggestions & the suggestions from the book and we are getting our kid back. It is the nicest feeling, I will be honest and say that sometimes I just want to say, "Stop crying & whining, get over it, do it, just do it!" but instead I feel incredibly silly and fake sometimes when I say, "I see you are kicking your feet and screaming, you must be upset about something, can you stop screaming & kicking your feet and tell mommy what is wrong?" and sometimes, "It upsets mommy when you __________ because it makes me feel ________ when you _______, so can you use your words and tell mommy how you feel instead of________?" At other times it feels so natural and I am glad that we all are communicating with our emotional words instead of frustration. It has taken a lot of work on our parts, not that this is much different from our parenting before, but this makes him feel emotionally empowered. We are coaching him to be more emotionally in tune for a lack of better terms. Nick took him to his therapy appointment on Wednesday and she dismissed Rhino. At first I was a little freaked when Nick told me this, I was like are you sure, are you sure? But with the improvements he reported & we have seen she said there is no reason to come back, we just have to keep emotionally empowering him and ourselves. Hopefully this is the end of crazy tantrums, we've had 2 bad ones in the last month which is a HUGE improvement! Today, he was in his room trying to put on his p.j. bottoms but they kept getting tangled and I heard him strat to whine & whipmer, I thought here we go, he came out with them in his hands and said, "I need help, I can't do it!" I untangled the mess and gave them back to him he stomped his foot one time and said, "I can't do it!" I said, "I know you are feeling frustrated but I untangled the pants, why don't you sit down and try to put them on again." He did and he got them on he was happy, and I was too, I said you did a good job not yelling & screaming, I am so proud of you for trying again instead of screaming. There is my "novel" and a little bit of insight on my world lately. Did you make it all the way down? Good for you!
Now, I need to figure out what I am going to do about next year...I am just praying right now because that is the best thing I know to do.
Pictures coming soon: Spiderman with blue fingernails-Nick was horrified, but I said he is two who cares! Pumpkin patch pictures again, from a different pumpkin patch Spiderman joined us blue fingernails and all. (The request for his toes to be blue came in the other day...I said he had to wait until Saturday, guess you know what I will be doing). We are helping out with the Harvest Party at Rhino's school tomorrow and I will snap some pictures there too!
One day he will make a good big brother
See how much fun they are having? They can't stay in one spot!
Rhino pumping water to move the ducks
Our piggie son had to have a pig's nose after watching the pig races
Unedited & uncut, I like this picture
No trash can or toilet visits either-SCORE! (Oh, you wanted to know that!)
You know you are tired and had a great time when you fall asleep sitting up and your face is covered with dirt along with your shirt.
The pool with the bar...do you see the deck on the top part of the picture? That is another bar! There is also one on the beach-but I don't think there is a picture of that one.
This is the "bar" in your room...we didn't use it. They also stock your fridge with juice, water, beer, seltzer water, ginger ale, & Cokes.
Why this picture is important-we spent a good part of the day on Saturday reliving college including outplaying 4 guys and meeting a bunch of new people. Quarters was taught & played, Beer Pong was taught and played, and there was a bunch of card games including Kings in the pool along with other fun card games. This picture is 
How many times does this happen? 
