Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Letting Go
So, part of me has to let go of some guilt that comes with being a mom. Right now, I have no problem going to the gym daily or almost daily because I know I have a ton of time with the boys, but when school starts the guilt kicks in....and I quit going. I have to let go of the guilt of working out for an hour when school starts again, I have to look at it like this, what is an hour each day of me not being with the boys if I am not around later to see them get married and graduate, etc.? I think they'd rather have me around than spend an hour with me for a short time, make sense? Plus, a happy & healthy mom is much better to be around than an unhealthy & sad mom.
Day 3ish
It is 12:16 p.m. and I thought I'd update so far. It is has been a good day, I feel like I have been running behind all day, but that's what happens when you get up an hour later than normal.
breakfast: Cocoa Pebbles (that was the last of them); coffee cup & a half
snack: Lean shake & apple (after the gym)
lunch: Lean shake
snack: peach
dinner: 2 very thin pork chops with brown rice & veggies
trip to the gym:
treadmill: 301 calories burned/random function @ level 9/4.0 mph/35 min./2.35 miles
bicycle: 135 calories burned/hill function-I went around the world today/90 mph or mpr (avg.)/5.0 miles
*I had to revamp my beautiful columns since they didn't look right after I published. Sad!
I will be honest, getting off the treadmill today I thought to myself I have burned one shake off that I haven't even had yet! It was a nice feeling. I had to push to finish today, not because I felt tired, I mean I was getting tired, but I was also getting bored. Gotta change it up when that happens, part of it was that the show I was reading on the t.v. went off. Yes, I do pick my treadmill based on what is showing on the t.v. I pop in my i-pod shuffle and listen to music while walking & reading the t.v. I get so into my music sometimes I want to bust out singing but I have to remember I am at the gym and can't do such things. I mean, I don't want to be like the ladies that think just because you have entered the gym the person you are talking to looses 90% of their hearing ability so you feel it necessary to yell at the person that is less than two feet away from you...but that is another post in itself. I feel good, I feel like I could go run another mile or two, or walk since I don't run, the point is day 3ish is going pretty good.
breakfast: Cocoa Pebbles (that was the last of them); coffee cup & a half
snack: Lean shake & apple (after the gym)
lunch: Lean shake
snack: peach
dinner: 2 very thin pork chops with brown rice & veggies
trip to the gym:
treadmill: 301 calories burned/random function @ level 9/4.0 mph/35 min./2.35 miles
bicycle: 135 calories burned/hill function-I went around the world today/90 mph or mpr (avg.)/5.0 miles
*I had to revamp my beautiful columns since they didn't look right after I published. Sad!
I will be honest, getting off the treadmill today I thought to myself I have burned one shake off that I haven't even had yet! It was a nice feeling. I had to push to finish today, not because I felt tired, I mean I was getting tired, but I was also getting bored. Gotta change it up when that happens, part of it was that the show I was reading on the t.v. went off. Yes, I do pick my treadmill based on what is showing on the t.v. I pop in my i-pod shuffle and listen to music while walking & reading the t.v. I get so into my music sometimes I want to bust out singing but I have to remember I am at the gym and can't do such things. I mean, I don't want to be like the ladies that think just because you have entered the gym the person you are talking to looses 90% of their hearing ability so you feel it necessary to yell at the person that is less than two feet away from you...but that is another post in itself. I feel good, I feel like I could go run another mile or two, or walk since I don't run, the point is day 3ish is going pretty good.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Day 2ish
Wow, blogger has changed! I am not sure I know how to post anymore!
So my blog is going under a change. I haven't blogged in so long, because really what do I have to blog about? I found a reason to blog this weekend.
On Sunday, I entered a friend's house to let her dogs out and to let them eat their breakfast, as I turned the corner in her living room I heard my pastor's voice say, "Geeeet off the beeeench!" He's pretty southern. I laughed, get off the bench, get off the bench.
So, I go to church, the topic, "Get Out of the Nest." Get off the bench? Leave the nest? Okay, so really those sermons are much deeper than what I am about to say, but they did something that sermons are supposed to do, get you thinking. During the sermon on Sunday, our pastor made some very valid points, some wonderful things were said about eagles and how to move out of the comfortable nest. But, he said one thing that stuck with me beyond Caleb's work & ambition, if you want to meet a goal, make it public. He has told us in countless meetings and in sermons, the only difference between a goal & a dream is a goal is a dream with a deadline. Deadlines are important because they give you a guideline, they give you direction, they give you purpose. The church sets goals each year and posts them, anyone can see them at any time. At the beginning of the year they even put them in the church bulletin. This is very much on purpose, they have to strive to meet those goals. Once you say you are going to do something publicly then you have people that are going to hold you accountable. Which brings me to my point, I have a goal that I set in Jan. and here it is six months later and I am further from my goal than I started.
I am making it public, I am starting a life style change, a journey to see what will work for me to meet that goal. I have short changed myself because now my goal is larger & bigger & will be harder to meet. I hope to meet at least half of it without failing by my original date.
I find myself unhappy and miserable because of the way I feel, not what I see, but the way I feel. That is a big deal, I am not sad when I look in the mirror, which is a huge change from 15 yrs. ago, I just feel blah, I feel bad, and when I curl up on the couch and a tummy is in the way, I feel sad.
In Jan. I said, by Dec. 31st I want to weigh 155 lbs. this isn't too unattainable. I weighed 180 lbs. at that time. In Feb. I did a 21 day fast with the church to pray for things in my life, that fast was hard, very hard, I lost 10 lbs. in those 121 days, which put me at 174 lbs. Did you catch that? Did you see the weight gain from Jan. to Feb. before the fast? So, I kept off most of that weight until recently. It is now June almost July and I weigh almost as much as I did two years ago when I started taking "the magic pill." The magic pill was awesome, went from 198 lbs. to 172 lbs. in just a few months, I felt great! But that magic pill made me feel really edgy and kind of crazy and even though I was under a doctor's care, I didn't feel it was the best choice for me. So, I stopped taking it in Oct. of last year. For three weeks I have been hitting the gym pretty hard & heavy with little results and a weight gain. Spare me with the you are putting on muscle. That puts me where I am now.
So yesterday, it was a serious day. I wanted to find a meal replacement for two meals a day & eat fruit & veggies as snacks. I found something. I found Total Lean by GNC. This doesn't come without some research and a lot of questions & talking to various people. It was 11:30 a.m. when I got home, lunch time, so I started right then and there. No more excuses, no more tomorrows, yesterday was the day, it didn't matter that I had already eaten breakfast and I wasn't going to be perfectly on the plan, it mattered that I was starting.
So, I had my first GNC Total Lean chocolate shake, I broke out the Magic Bullet and mixed that puppy up and bravely took a sip. Oh, sweetnees, it was sweet! It was good, it doesn't have an aftertaste. Can it get any better? Why yes it can! The "plan" included says I can eat a banana with it! SCORE! As I read the suggested meals & snacks I saw things that had carbs in them and frozen yogurt & sorbet & other goodies! I was inspired as I read and sipped my shake. Do you know what was amazing? I was full. FULL I SAY FULL! I was so excited, just the excitement I needed to get going. So I ate a sensible dinner and felt all proud of myself, I had started. Then a few hours passed the house was quiet and I ate a bowl of Cocoa Pebbles. Loveliness, now guilt hit pretty quick, I felt so bad. I felt so bad I ate three Oreos. Then I felt like the worst person in the world.
I went to bed guilt ridden because of a bowl of cereal and stupid Oreos that I told Nick not to buy...I am horribly weak. But this morning was a new start, that is why this is Day 2ish because yesterday was Day 1ish. Just because I started in the middle of the day, so I am going to stick to my -ish counting, it works for me.
I want this to be a lifestyle change, not just a temporary thing. What's the plan? I plan on showing you (whoever you are) my daily food journal-scary, scary-listing my excerise for the day, and well anything else I want to because this is my blog.
So, the Total Lean by GNC has 180 calories, 5 g of sugar, 9 g of protein, and 30 g of carbs, 8 g of dietary fiber, and 5 g of soluble fiber. I plan on drinking this two times a day. I can't bring myself just yet to give up breakfast totally, so today I used it as a 2nd breakfast which I eat daily and have for over a year now. During the school year I eat at 4:30 a.m. each day, so by 7:30 I am hungry, and I eat, and what I eat usually isn't super healthy. Right now I eat at 5:30-5:45 a.m. daily, so by 8:30-9:00 I am pretty hungry. I hope to change to conform later to "the plan." It is a work in progress that I am making public to hold myself more accountable.
June 28th Day 1ish in review
I started my period today, that's nice, right? The day I decide to "go at it," I start. Nice! But no excuses, no waiting until later. It pains me to put my weight down for people to see, since last week it as three pounds lighter...but here we go:
187.6 lbs. (ugh, that hurt)
I didn't exercise, but I did sweat for two hours watching the boys play...it still doesn't count.
breakfast: cereal-Cocoa Pebbles with 2% milk; coffee x2-no cream no sugar
splurge: decaf peppermint mocha (grande)-this was pre shake purchase
lunch:Chocolate Lean shake; banana
snack: peach & water
dinner: 2 tortillas with half chicken breast with peppers (red, yellow, & green), squash, sprinkled lightly with cheese
snack?: Cocoa Pebbles & 3 Oreos
water intake: a gallon-for real
June 29th Day 2ish review
breakfast: Cocoa Pebbles with 2%; coffee
snack: Chocolate Lean shake; banana
splurge: grande coffee (no cream-no sugar)
lunch: Chocolate Lean shake; 12 grape tomatoes; 1 string cheese
dinner (we ate early-like 4 p.m.): 1 chicken breast with the hottest jalapenos on the planet, bbq sauce, and cheese; field peas; mini corn on the cob
water intake: a gallon
exercise: look who made it to the overcrowded gym this p.m.!! I didn't do as much as I have been doing, but it was better than nothing like yesterday. Treadmill 35 min. Random function @ level 9 burned 293 calories at 4.0 mph-I forgot the mileage.
Next posts won't be so long, but I feel good tonight, I feel like I might be on track to an actual life style change. I have already had the thought about the shakes, is it feasible? All I need is water to mix it, that is it, so I think yes, it is feasible. Will this take some tweaking? Yes, it will, but I tell you what to know that I had 360 calories in two shakes and I burned 293 calories with just one exercise I felt pretty good knowing I was going places....it will just take time.
So my blog is going under a change. I haven't blogged in so long, because really what do I have to blog about? I found a reason to blog this weekend.
On Sunday, I entered a friend's house to let her dogs out and to let them eat their breakfast, as I turned the corner in her living room I heard my pastor's voice say, "Geeeet off the beeeench!" He's pretty southern. I laughed, get off the bench, get off the bench.
So, I go to church, the topic, "Get Out of the Nest." Get off the bench? Leave the nest? Okay, so really those sermons are much deeper than what I am about to say, but they did something that sermons are supposed to do, get you thinking. During the sermon on Sunday, our pastor made some very valid points, some wonderful things were said about eagles and how to move out of the comfortable nest. But, he said one thing that stuck with me beyond Caleb's work & ambition, if you want to meet a goal, make it public. He has told us in countless meetings and in sermons, the only difference between a goal & a dream is a goal is a dream with a deadline. Deadlines are important because they give you a guideline, they give you direction, they give you purpose. The church sets goals each year and posts them, anyone can see them at any time. At the beginning of the year they even put them in the church bulletin. This is very much on purpose, they have to strive to meet those goals. Once you say you are going to do something publicly then you have people that are going to hold you accountable. Which brings me to my point, I have a goal that I set in Jan. and here it is six months later and I am further from my goal than I started.
I am making it public, I am starting a life style change, a journey to see what will work for me to meet that goal. I have short changed myself because now my goal is larger & bigger & will be harder to meet. I hope to meet at least half of it without failing by my original date.
I find myself unhappy and miserable because of the way I feel, not what I see, but the way I feel. That is a big deal, I am not sad when I look in the mirror, which is a huge change from 15 yrs. ago, I just feel blah, I feel bad, and when I curl up on the couch and a tummy is in the way, I feel sad.
In Jan. I said, by Dec. 31st I want to weigh 155 lbs. this isn't too unattainable. I weighed 180 lbs. at that time. In Feb. I did a 21 day fast with the church to pray for things in my life, that fast was hard, very hard, I lost 10 lbs. in those 121 days, which put me at 174 lbs. Did you catch that? Did you see the weight gain from Jan. to Feb. before the fast? So, I kept off most of that weight until recently. It is now June almost July and I weigh almost as much as I did two years ago when I started taking "the magic pill." The magic pill was awesome, went from 198 lbs. to 172 lbs. in just a few months, I felt great! But that magic pill made me feel really edgy and kind of crazy and even though I was under a doctor's care, I didn't feel it was the best choice for me. So, I stopped taking it in Oct. of last year. For three weeks I have been hitting the gym pretty hard & heavy with little results and a weight gain. Spare me with the you are putting on muscle. That puts me where I am now.
So yesterday, it was a serious day. I wanted to find a meal replacement for two meals a day & eat fruit & veggies as snacks. I found something. I found Total Lean by GNC. This doesn't come without some research and a lot of questions & talking to various people. It was 11:30 a.m. when I got home, lunch time, so I started right then and there. No more excuses, no more tomorrows, yesterday was the day, it didn't matter that I had already eaten breakfast and I wasn't going to be perfectly on the plan, it mattered that I was starting.
So, I had my first GNC Total Lean chocolate shake, I broke out the Magic Bullet and mixed that puppy up and bravely took a sip. Oh, sweetnees, it was sweet! It was good, it doesn't have an aftertaste. Can it get any better? Why yes it can! The "plan" included says I can eat a banana with it! SCORE! As I read the suggested meals & snacks I saw things that had carbs in them and frozen yogurt & sorbet & other goodies! I was inspired as I read and sipped my shake. Do you know what was amazing? I was full. FULL I SAY FULL! I was so excited, just the excitement I needed to get going. So I ate a sensible dinner and felt all proud of myself, I had started. Then a few hours passed the house was quiet and I ate a bowl of Cocoa Pebbles. Loveliness, now guilt hit pretty quick, I felt so bad. I felt so bad I ate three Oreos. Then I felt like the worst person in the world.
I went to bed guilt ridden because of a bowl of cereal and stupid Oreos that I told Nick not to buy...I am horribly weak. But this morning was a new start, that is why this is Day 2ish because yesterday was Day 1ish. Just because I started in the middle of the day, so I am going to stick to my -ish counting, it works for me.
I want this to be a lifestyle change, not just a temporary thing. What's the plan? I plan on showing you (whoever you are) my daily food journal-scary, scary-listing my excerise for the day, and well anything else I want to because this is my blog.
So, the Total Lean by GNC has 180 calories, 5 g of sugar, 9 g of protein, and 30 g of carbs, 8 g of dietary fiber, and 5 g of soluble fiber. I plan on drinking this two times a day. I can't bring myself just yet to give up breakfast totally, so today I used it as a 2nd breakfast which I eat daily and have for over a year now. During the school year I eat at 4:30 a.m. each day, so by 7:30 I am hungry, and I eat, and what I eat usually isn't super healthy. Right now I eat at 5:30-5:45 a.m. daily, so by 8:30-9:00 I am pretty hungry. I hope to change to conform later to "the plan." It is a work in progress that I am making public to hold myself more accountable.
June 28th Day 1ish in review
I started my period today, that's nice, right? The day I decide to "go at it," I start. Nice! But no excuses, no waiting until later. It pains me to put my weight down for people to see, since last week it as three pounds lighter...but here we go:
187.6 lbs. (ugh, that hurt)
I didn't exercise, but I did sweat for two hours watching the boys play...it still doesn't count.
breakfast: cereal-Cocoa Pebbles with 2% milk; coffee x2-no cream no sugar
splurge: decaf peppermint mocha (grande)-this was pre shake purchase
lunch:Chocolate Lean shake; banana
snack: peach & water
dinner: 2 tortillas with half chicken breast with peppers (red, yellow, & green), squash, sprinkled lightly with cheese
snack?: Cocoa Pebbles & 3 Oreos
water intake: a gallon-for real
June 29th Day 2ish review
breakfast: Cocoa Pebbles with 2%; coffee
snack: Chocolate Lean shake; banana
splurge: grande coffee (no cream-no sugar)
lunch: Chocolate Lean shake; 12 grape tomatoes; 1 string cheese
dinner (we ate early-like 4 p.m.): 1 chicken breast with the hottest jalapenos on the planet, bbq sauce, and cheese; field peas; mini corn on the cob
water intake: a gallon
exercise: look who made it to the overcrowded gym this p.m.!! I didn't do as much as I have been doing, but it was better than nothing like yesterday. Treadmill 35 min. Random function @ level 9 burned 293 calories at 4.0 mph-I forgot the mileage.
Next posts won't be so long, but I feel good tonight, I feel like I might be on track to an actual life style change. I have already had the thought about the shakes, is it feasible? All I need is water to mix it, that is it, so I think yes, it is feasible. Will this take some tweaking? Yes, it will, but I tell you what to know that I had 360 calories in two shakes and I burned 293 calories with just one exercise I felt pretty good knowing I was going places....it will just take time.
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